When Your Camp Boyfriend Crashes Your Date
This is what I remember about dating Jon, my boyfriend from the summer I turned 16:1. There were about 100 girls and 25 guys at the arts camp I attended. The odds were against me and I beat those odds. I wish this luck translated to my existence in the New York dating scene. 2. We made out in a very large grass field (is that redundant? city girl here) and I was subsequently bitten toe to forehead by mosquitos. You'd think I'd learn, but no, I'm 28 and do the same thing, only now the story involves alcohol and ticks. 3. When I went to visit him after camp was over (we did "long distance" for two months, until we realized the George Washington Bridge was an obstacle we couldn't overcome) we drove around Teaneck in his mother's mini van. Then we made out on a bench outside his elementary school. 4. This was the summer a friend taught me the grab his hand gently as it is moving to the fly of your Wet Seal shorts and he'll know he's not getting to third base move. Apparently this move is " full proof" and "demonstrates the sensitivity of the moment." Guess what friend. Subtlety is not my strong suit. 5. I broke up with him after he ditched my Sweet 16 for a soccer game.
This is what happened when, five minutes in, Jon crashed my first date with a guy from OK Cupid:
1. He came up to us and said "Excuse me." I thought he was going to tell me to keep it down. 2. He called me by my first name. I realized who it was. I suddenly got way more excited about seeing him then I did the guy I was out on a date with. 3. The guy I was with realized this. 4. Jon and I exchanged numbers. In retrospect, perhaps this wasn't the classiest move. 5. Jon asked what I was up to. I told him I just completed my masters. He said, "I never graduated from college." 6. He asked me what I did for a living. I said I taught. He said, "I freelance. But that is just another way of saying I'm unemployed." 7. I told him I recently heard from a friend of ours from camp. Then he told me when he was in his 20's he used to date her. "She asked me if it would be weird because of you," he said. "I told her 'no.' We were going to have sex, and you just gave me blue balls." 8. Then he told me (well--us--as my date became heavily invested in this situation) how our friend had cheated on him--with a woman. "But I got back at her," he said. "I cheated on her--with a woman." 9. I told him I wouldn't mention we had run into each other. 10. [awkward silence] 11. He started to yell about running into her on the PATH Train, where she was going to meet her boyfriend. "I had a broken leg and she wouldn't visit me in Hoboken, and she's just going out with this shmo?!" 12. [awkward silence] 13. "I'm over it," he said. 14. "It's nice to see you again," I told him. 15. [more awkward silence] 16. Jon exits stage left [the bar]. 17. My date and I paid the bill and got cupcakes.