Top ten reasons you should hook up during a natural disaster
It's been a crazy week. Our love goes out to everyone who's been affected by the path of Sandy. In an effort to lighten the mood a little, we'd like to present you with a top ten list to fold up and keep in your smartphone. We give you: "Top ten reasons you should hook up during a natural disaster"
1) You're probably freshly showered up, since you heard storm warnings right before you headed out to buy a cart of liquor/beer, Poland Spring or over priced Fiji Water if you were too late, and tuna fish.
2) Dating standards go flying out the window when candy bars become meals. You, my friend, could find your self in a dalliance with an 8, while having only weeks prior admitted that you are most likely a 6.5
3) Internet is down -- Say goodbye to Facebook stalking, online dating site and porn. You're going to have to participate in life for a few days.
4) In trying to save your tuna rations, your carb face from the weekend's partying has really slimmed out.
5) What happens in a natural disaster...Stays in a natural disaster
6) If the world does end, you will need to form a mini army. Hopefully the person you're looking to hook up with is a viable skilled potential member. If not, hey you're going to need people to hold the pots and pans while you march from village to village.
7) If stores are closed for weeks, this might be the last tube of chapstick in your pocket that you'll have for awhile. That means your lips will soon start dissolving, unable to hold themselves together without beeswax and red dye 14353. This could be your last kiss--make it count.
8) Did we mention that the Internet is down?
9) You need to stop being emotionally scarred from the time you went to see "Day After Tomorrow" and your date didn't try to make out with you/let you make out with them after the show.
10) Because you did not put on those sexy giant wellies for just nobody! So strip it all off, but don't be ridiculous-keep on the boots. You'll need to stay prepared.
And we ask you readers, where were you when the storm hit? Was there any chaka chaka involved?