The Role of Boyfriend Will Not Be Played By an Actor

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From Julie: On my OK Cupid profile, under "Please Message Me If...", it specifically says, "if you are not an actor." I wrote this to deter actors from contacting me, but it only seems to make them gravitate to me more. "Why?" they ask. "Why don't you date actors?" I want to ask them, "Have you ever dated an actor???"

One night, I made the mistake of picking up my OK Cupid date in my car. He got in, closed the door, and the first thing he said was," I was just reviewing your profile and I see you don't date actors, but what about role play?" [editor's note: on-line daters, try to avoid admitting to your date that you retained zero knowledge of the messages you probably both spent way too much time drafting.]

"What do you mean?" I asked. "Like...dungeons and dragons?"

"No," he said. "Like last week--I was a Nordic Viking."

"Oh," I said. "Do you pay for that?"

"No," he replied. But some other people have to pay for that."

#OKCupidFail