That Time I Tried To Go Out With the 22-Year Old Barista From the Local Coffee Shop in Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania

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Once upon a time, a girl met a boy. Only that girl was on the cusp of 2013's womanhood (30!) and the boy was so young he used "yolo" in a sentence (and not ironically). But the girl was stuck in a tiny town, and the boy was handsome, and he made a mean iced chai tea latte, which is a very valuable skill. So the girl flirted and the boy flirted back, and they passed notes back and forth with ellipses and emoticons and finally, he asked her to get a drink. So they made made a plan for 9pm on a Saturday to "go to a bar--or drink a bottle of whiskey and throw rocks at cars" and the girl got excited--what a delightful way to end her twenties!

But then the boy postponed, as boys are apt to do. And the girl played it cool, as girls are apt to try to do. And the rest is text message history.

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"Oh word." Is that 22 year old speak for "happy birthday?" The girl thought not. So she did not reply. For what is one to say? "Word"?

The end.