First + Very BAD Date I was divorced for 3 years and my friends decided it was time for me to start dating. I acquiesced and the suggestions started rolling in.
The date was set. We met at a restaurant on the East River in NYC. I knew who to look for because I did my research. "He" was a published author and screenwriter.
I had gone to the library (yes folks this was a LONG TIME AGO) and found "his" book and looked for a photo. Not bad looking - actually interesting and quite attractive.
All of this is why I agreed to meet him.
So we met. I wasn't sure if it was him. The headshot in his book was about 20 years old. I neglected to register the dates. I psyched myself into enjoying the dinner and evening.
The dinner was delicious. When I realized I counted 32 boats on the East River, I acknowledged something was amiss but I couldn't put my finger on it. Here was a smart guy, nice looking, accomplished and yet my radar said "nope - he is a bit strange".
I got my answer toward the end of our dinner when he leaned across the table (I thought he was going to say, "You are so beautiful OR I am having a lovely evening OR ?????) and said...
"I have a Big Wiener". I swear this is the absolute truth. It is unusual for me to not have anything to say but I didn't have anything to say. I sat there with my mouth open (I know what you're thinking). I didn't know whether to be more shocked that a guy in his 50's called his manhood a "wiener" or that he actually said this out loud.
My cousin Tina suggested I should have put my hand in the air, snapped my fingers and said "Waiter - mustard please".
This photo is credited to the i can haz cheezburger website and its general awesome job of amassing photos of cats in more carefully constructed wardrobes than our own.