Accessories to the Crime
One time I was dating this very nice guy. He was the only gentleman more on the athletic side of gymnast or jockey than I had ever tried to date. Reasons for this sudden diversity were two fold:
1) I had not dated anyone in a few months
2) As I matured in life, I realized that Manhattan is full of the shortest guys in America.
But, what can you do? I'll tell you what -- diversify -- at least once, so that you can make sure you're not missing out on anything potential.
We met at a chic lounge downtown.
We went to the movies, we went for drinks at PJ Clarke's, we went back to his place.
Then one morning, I looked over to put on my (I forget what- something I put on his dresser) and what did I see?
Tiffany's earrings!!! No question the circular silver post had the ID # with "Please return to Tiffany"
Ew, was he dating a junior high school student!? What grown woman still wears this?
And, God how tacky. Was short guy so insecure that he was trying to fool me into thinking he got around town sooo much, that girls were just mindlessly leaving their $100 earring staples on his bureau!? This was... this was... I'll tell you what this was- UNACCEPTABLE!!!
So, I add this to another recent faux pas and say "fini!"
Weeks later, I'm flipping through Town and Country in Barnes and Nobles where I do all my reading and come across these cufflinks that look surprisingly like - what? No.
Hmmm these cuff links look like those earrings. Wait they are those earrings. Wait I did not look at the back of those earrings.
Alas, I believe it was defensive planning. I can't marry a short man, China is growing giants right now, my little ones will be crushed in gym class. All for the best...