How's this Going?

Recently I went out with a guy from HowAboutWe... And though it was quite obvious by the end that we would end this sentence with ...never go out again, he did give me permission to publish two of his favorite bad date experiences. So, here we go: Number One:

"I met her on OKC, and we agreed to meet for lunch. When she walked in, it was clear her pictures were either quite old or from her very good angle. [editor's response: "SO!"] After her food came, she asked the number one wrong question to ask [editor's response: "How many people have you had sex with???"]. She asked, 'So, is this going well?' I told her, 'It's going fine.' Her response was 'Just fine?' 'Yes,' I told her. 'This is going just...fine." Then she picked up her napkin, put it on the table, stood up...and walked out of the restaurant, leaving me with two half finished meals and the tab. I watched her through the window, getting into a cab. The waitress came over to me. 'I've never seen that happen before,' she said, and then copped me half meal."

Number Two:

"She showed up to meet me for a drink. She was wearing a turquoise blouse with big shoulder pads and billowing sleeves. And princess slippers. [editor's response: "HUH?!"] Yeah, princess slippers. The kind where, if you're a kid, and you want to be a Disney Princess for Halloween, the little slippers with like Belle on them, or Jasmine, come in the bag? Yeah, she was wearing THOSE."


Side note: Not having children, nor spending much time with children, I didn't fully grasp the horror of this image, a grown woman wearing fuzzy plastic high heeled slippers. Now I do. Thank you, google image search. I can't wait till your new privacy settings means I'm inundated with ads for all the crazy sh*t I google for this blog. Drunk girl + refrigerator, anyone?