Would you consider me?


My roommate had also been on a date with him, but to my own credit, I did not know this when I accepted. So, I also didn't know that it did not go well.

He had some nice tattoos. This is a common attribute to men in Portland. Several times, he came into the bookstore where I was working. I don't remember the first two things he bought, but I do remember the third thing he bought. It was Charles Bukowski's Ham on Rye, so I immediately wrote him off (later, on the date, he mentioned I had given him the stank face when he brought the book to the cash register). Then one day he engaged me in a discussion on Murakami's new book and I decided he was worth giving a chance. So, when he came in one day, dripping wet from the rain (shocking, in Portland) and asked me out for coffee, I said ok.

We went on the date, and here is a list of all the stupid things that happened:

1) he talked incessently. He talked so much, it was extraordinary. 2) Every time I tried to talk, he interrupted me 3) he showed me his sketchbook 4) he insulted his ex-girlfriends (NOT OK!)

But, he did offer to walk me to my car. So then I thought:

1) this date was a total bust 2) he is pretty cute, so maybe I'll make out

I was leaning against my car door and he was standing in front of me in kissing range but instead of leaning in he:

1) did a Christopher Walken impression 2) did a William Shatner impression

In a different context, these impressions could be hilarious. But in this context, I didn't understand what could be more unattractive than making impressions of unattractive men. So I got in my car and left.

Later that night, I received:

1) a text message that said I was an excellent conversationalist 2) a text message that said that I was so pretty 3) a text message that said he couldn't stop thinking about me

Three weeks later, he called me for a second date and asked: "Why didn't you call me?" and I informed him that I was actually moving to another state. His reply was: "If you were staying, would you consider having me as your boyfriend?"