Why Sleep-Overs Shouldn't Include Sleeping

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Confessions of a Recovering Manic Pixie Dream Girl 1.7: The Awkward Midwestern Undergraduate Years, The Gallery of Regrettable Hookups, CJ So, I had more or less exhausted all options within my coterie of student film friends (including one of the girls, but that was hardly a regrettable hookup so much as a cake fight that got a little out of hand). Of course, I jumped at the chance to hang out with more people outside of this circle, my friend Ben from Greek class in particular. Admittedly, I had a little bit of a thing for him which fortunately for our friendship never went anywhere. Still, it was refreshing to have a bit more of a chaste crush on someone as opposed to the regrettable-sex-bender-of-angst caused by the volatile break with Chris.

You didn’t come here to read about Ben, though, did you? At some point, Ben, his friends and I went to X3: The Last Stand... and agreed to never speak of it again. I chatted with his friend CJ and one thing led to another and so we ended up seeing Superman Returns as well. My main thought other than “Bryan Singer left X3 for this?” was “Holy balls, Brandon Routh is pretty.” CJ, with his bald patch and manboobs almost rivaling my own, was no Brandon Routh, but things more or less went their course later in the night anyway. The only notable thing is that as we were falling asleep, for some inexplicable reason, I could not. stop. farting. Maybe it was the beer. Maybe I had too much dairy earlier that day. I knew there was a reason I immediately kicked them out of bed afterward. Chalk another one down as an MPDG fairy tale ending in “... and then we never spoke of it again.”

 

Editor's note: We feel your pain! Cosmetic bag should include mini Lysol (http://baddategreatstory.com/?p=2466) Lactaid and Gas-X. Note very much taken.