Why My Life is Like a Charlie Sheen DirectTV Commercial
Recently, while watching college basketball on network television, I encountered the attached DirectTV commercial starring Charlie Sheen. I kept thinking, Something seems familiar here. Maybe it was the tag line: See what happens when you make bad decisions. The whole thing resonated so clearly, it led me to confess to my co-editor, "I don't know if I dreamed this, but..." And then I realized, DirectTV pulled the ultimate in advertising glory. Not only did I leave my viewing experience thinking, I NEED THIS, I realized, I LIVE THIS. And this is why:
1. "When you have cable and can't record your shows, you feel unhappy."
Exhibit A: Forget about DVR, I haven't had cable since 2007, which, coincidentally, is about the same time I became single and began making really bad decisions [see: best man, cousin's wedding, gum, duplex apartment: http://baddategreatstory.com/?p=222]. Maybe if I had Lifetime, I'd spend more time in, and less time going out and humping the chupah holder.
Exhibit B: I'm actually more of a: When you feel [fill in the blank], you go to happy hour. As in, when you feel full, you go to happy hour. When you feel sleepy, you go to happy hour. You catch my drift.
3. "When you go to happy hour, you are up for anything."
Exhibit C: Skinny dipping in the waters off the Aran Islands? Check. Go home with a 21 year old Polish intern? Check. Drink until closing? Check. Reconnect with an ex? Check. Jagger shots? Check. Make out with any number of red heads in a seven mile radius? Check. Check. Check. Red heads, you're like crack.
4. "When you're up for anything, you head to a Turkish bathhouse."
Exhibit D: Ah, the bathhouse. Where I met a Staten Island-born heavily tattooed ex-rocker with relationship baggage and an addiction problem, seeking out a nice Jewish teacher from Queens. Or so he thought: http://baddategreatstory.com/?p=1709
Exhibit E: Is it possible I went out on a date with Charlie Sheen? Reading the description above, the similarities are uncanny.
6. "When you meet Charlie Sheen, you reenact scenes from Platoon with Charlie Sheen."
Exhibit F: Ok, this actually sounds way more fun than going to Sunset Park to watch Rocky.
7. "Don't reenact scenes from Platoon with Charlie Sheen."
Exhibit G: Is Charlie Sheen single? I think Brooke Mueller is Jewish. Hm. Maybe I'm his type.
For the full commercial, watch here:
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