The Date With the High Talker
It was my first online dating experience. All 3 profile pictures were normal, not stunningly gorgeous, but clean-looking and pleasant. He reached out first (I never reach out first, I just don't) and went in for the dry-humor kill. As a wannabe comedy bit writer, I was instantly attracted. This back and forth went on for a month. Every night we each wrote several paragraphs of randomness, life if you will. We flowed from topic to topic and always addressed each other's respective commentary. I put my profile on hold so I could more easily focus on this "catch of the month" and finally, after a month, he asked if I'd like to meet for coffee. Well, damn, with that month of a build-up, absolutely. Let's coffee up. We made plans to meet near my job, one evening after work. I had never heard his voice. We had only emailed. We exchanged mobile numbers just in case we needed to contact each other. He sent me a text when he was at the metro stop near my office. I sent him back a text with instructions to cross the street and stand in front of a large restaurant that couldn't be missed and I'd be right down. As he was standing in front of this restaurant (so no, he wasn't lost), he called me. So I heard his voice before I saw him. That is how the date began. That voice.
#1 Always have a conversation before getting together. There is something to be said for what I call, voice attraction. I have a low voice for a woman. He has a high voice for both a man and a woman. There is nothing that could have come out of that mouth that would have made listening to him speak, palatable.
#2 Nail down what you are going to do or where you are going to eat. I like to go with the flow, but in the case of meeting somebody new, have a plan. He didn't have a plan so we walked aimlessly around town, for blocks. This forced me to listen to THAT voice for longer than I could handle. I came up with a plan and off to Thai for dinner, we went.
#3 Know that you can't plan for everything. He shuffled when he walked. There wasn't anything physically unique about his feet or his legs. He just walked like Tim Conway in a Carol Burnett sketch. I nearly tripped trying to slow down to keep up.
#4 If he says he is a gamer, know what that means. I said, oh, like Wii? I have a Wii. He said, no, online games. I said, like with other people around the world and you have a character, like a Sim thing? He said, yeah, something like that. That's not my world, so at that point, I just listened. I have no idea how none of that came up in the 50 emails that were exchanged over the month.
#5 Have money with you. Always. When the check came, he pulled out a $20 bill, but the check was greater than $20. He got confused and didn't know what to do. I said, let's split it and I threw down my card, assuming he would either throw his card down on the table too or give me the $20 or something. Just something. He got flustered, didn't know what to do and I got impatient. I just took care of the bill so we could get out of there.
I like smart so I was excited about my date with the funny, computer programmer. However, he was only real behind the computer. Outside,in public, he was socially awkward and inept. His online persona didn't match his in-person, persona. It took me a few days to correlate the emails that I had received with the person I met. I couldn't - there was no correlation.
Online Dating Tip of the Century - meet quickly. Don't wait too long because you build an attachment and until you assess the online vs. offline connection, you will never know.
You can follow Gina Brown on twitter @ginanicolebrown. She is a divorced GenXer with two kids and is dipping her toes into the dating pool. She finds humor in unexpected places and thinks a day without chocolate is an oxymoron.