Chaka Chaka in NYC Love Hotels
Living in a NYC apartment with multiple roommates means that the thin walls leave nothing to the imagination. And by nothing, I mean nothing. The music you wake up to (The Judds, tell no one!), whispered conversations with your mother about why you are still single, drunk dialed conversations that you can’t even remember the next day, the fact that you snore like a 75 year old obese man--I mean nothing. Which is why the guy I’m dating and I prefer to have our little ‘chaka chaka’ sessions away from our respective apartments.
There was the beer closet at the restaurant we both worked at, the St. Marks Hotel in all its decrepit, beg-bud ridden glory, even the karaoke boxes at Sing Sing in the afternoon when no one is around except the old cleaning lady who may or may not have been spying on us. (Although, sex at a karaoke box becomes super convenient for those times when your boyfriend chooses to serenade you with My Heart Will Go On afterwards. Not that I would know anything about that.)
One evening we were considering trekking out to those hourly hotels out on Queens Boulevard, but decided it was a bit too far out of the way and tried to google search for something much closer to Manhattan. Fortunately, a place called the Liberty Inn, located in Chelsea, popped up in the search results, so we hopped in a cab and headed over.
The Liberty Inn is pretty cheap. The overweight Arabic man at the front desk informs us that it will be $75 for three hours for a basic room and $90 for three hours for a room with a jacuzzi. They also offer one hour and full night stays. We go for the deluxe room for three hours.
Our room isn’t ready just yet so we sit on the benches in the waiting area, making sure not to make eye contact with another couple there as well. We all know why we are here. So you know, that was awkward. To give us something to do, we went to the vending machine to get something sweet to eat. The vending machine had all the usual things you would expect to find: cookies, chips, candy . . . condoms and lube.
I especially liked how the Trojans are sandwiched in between the Tic-Tacs and the M&M’s, and right next to the Famous Amos. Total one stop shopping.
Our name is finally called and we can go to our room. Big Jacuzzi? Check. Multiple channels of free porn? Check. A painting on the ceiling of weird Asian geishas spooning? Check.
So, while we were looking for greater privacy when we came here, now we had those creepy paintings staring down at us the whole time while we got our chaka chaka on.
Although, after a while, you kind of forgot they were there.
About 15 minutes before your time is up, the phone rings to give you a reminder to start packing up. All in all, it was a pretty pleasant experience and a nice way to get some form of privacy. On our way out we passed a couple just arriving who would, in all likelihood, be taking over our room. And so, the circle of life (and chaka chaka) continues anew at the Liberty Inn.