Taking One for the Team
I'm sure we've all had an experience as the involuntary 'wingman'. I went to a bar to catch up with my best friend from high school. We hadn't seen each other in ages with our busy lives. A cute guy walked over to us at the end of the night, clearly interested in my friend. My friend had been single for a long time and she seemed into him, so being a good buddy I decided to stick out the painfully boring conversation with his friend. I mentioned that I liked his newsboy hat. He tried to respond with some slurred gibberish. Unfortunately, with his level of intoxication it came out as such "Nice bsssh"
"I said nice blouse."
"Well I was trying to be gentlemanly."
"You complimented me so I was trying to return the compliment and be gentlemanly...But I'm not..."
"You're not what? You're not gentlemanly?"
To this, he responded with what I like to think of as the worst drunken pickup line in history:
"No, not really. I lead a life of debauchery."