Taking One for the Team


I'm sure we've all had an experience as the involuntary 'wingman'. I went to a bar to catch up with my best friend from high school.  We hadn't seen each other in ages with our busy lives. A cute guy walked over to us at the end of the night, clearly interested in my friend.   My friend had been single for a long time and she seemed into him, so being a good buddy I decided to stick out the painfully boring conversation with his friend. I mentioned that I liked his newsboy hat. He tried to respond with some slurred gibberish. Unfortunately, with his level of intoxication it came out as such "Nice bsssh"


"I said nice blouse."

"Oh, thanks."

"Well I was trying to be gentlemanly."


"You complimented me so I was trying to return the compliment and be gentlemanly...But I'm not..."

"You're not what? You're not gentlemanly?"

To this, he responded with what I like to think of as the worst drunken pickup line in history:

"No, not really. I lead a life of debauchery."