Sometimes the best date is a date with yourself

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She was tall. That's what attracted her to me. Six feet tall. Okay, she was also young, 21 to my 30. Everything about the scenario was promising. "Hey, you want to come over and watch a moo-vey," she asked.

"Hell yeah I do." I know the code. Four minutes of movie, 45 minutes of petting, then we have sex.

Not this one. I haven't had blue balls since I was 19 years old, but it happened. Making out. Hands all over. Etc. But no more.

I woke up 30 minutes after the room went silent and we supposedly went to sleep. I walked into the bathroom and jerked off into a folded three inch piece of toilet paper. Slept like a baby.