OKStupid Gets So Close, and Yet, So Far

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She regrets knowing what GTL is and wants to see the world through a childs eyes. Hi,

Someone once told me that I maintain a child-like wonder. I was impressed by this phrase and shocked by the next thing they said which was, “You’re too big to be in my blanket fort.” Four year olds can be very picky.

I decided to not try and make sense of any of it. Now the struggle is to not cling to the rocks on the river of life. A white guy with dread locks told me that so it feels really mystical.

I don’t know what GTL is nor will I search for it. Bad things happen when you search for unknown terms. I search for it and the next thing I know the FBI is at my door. They really don’t have a sense of humor.

In conclusion, I enjoyed your profile and think we’d get along.

Cheers, Anthony

My message to this lady of the ‘Net was over 100 words. Here is her reply:

Hi Anthony,

You have a 4 year old friend, have read Jitterbug Perfume and quote Living Colour in your profile. I think we’d definitely get along :-)

That’s it. I wrote back because she noticed my Living Colour quote. Who doesn’t love Living Colour? No future Internet love of mine that’s who.

She mentioned in her profile that she is waiting to be perfect before she writes her novel and that she wants it to make children better. Sigh.

No need to wait for perfection to start your writing ambitions. You can hire the guy that edited Jitterbug Perfume to work with you. I did. He called me some ungodly hour and gave me some profanity laden advice. I think he was right, but I have no idea how to sell a book. Maybe I should have thrown in some vampires? Does your writing have vampires? That’s what the kids are into. Morons.

The fact that you got the Living Colour quote and think that is a good thing means we’d absolutely get along.

I did hire Alan Rinzler. It made the book better but I have no idea how to sell it. Add vampires and hot teen action?

She replied.

Ha. That’s wild you know the Jitterbug Perfume guy. I want to know what he said.

Come on… a 16 word reply? And one of those isn’t even a word. It’s more of a sound, just a quick burst of escaping air.

If your writing is the cure all for the declining mental health of the youth of the world then you’ve got to write. You owe it to the children. Whitney Houston said they were the future. She also said crack is wack so I trust her.

We’ll have to meet up and I’ll tell you what the editor told me.

Final score: Anthony close to 300 words. Internet Girl: Account deleted.