Honeymoon Release

On my honeymoon in Mexico I booked myself a massage at the resort we were staying at. Unfortunately, by the time I went to the massage, I was experiencing some severe pains in my uterine area. I obviously thought I a) had a tumor or b) was pregnant. The massage therapist told me not to worry--I apparently had a "blockage" in my gut--and with her help I released four days worth of poop via her touch. What a relief! (pun intended).