Dear Mr. President, Let Me Tell You About My Bad Dates...

invite-the-president-to-your-wedding2.jpeg

December 31, 2012 The Honorable Barack Obama and Mrs. Obama The White House Greetings Office Room 39 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC 20500

Dear Mr. President and Mrs. Obama:

I recently learned that when a couple gets engaged they can send you an invitation to their wedding and you will reply with a letter of congratulations. I think this is a wonderful tradition and I am sure many couples keep their letters forever as a keepsake. It must be thrilling to receive mail from The White House!

My name is Meredith and I am 27 years old, live in Maine, and have voted for you twice. I am currently single but feel that my singledom is something which should be celebrated. Why? Well, there is a long list of men I could have married and the fact that I did not do so is something wonderful.

To give you a little glimpse of those people I could have walked down the aisle towards, here is a small list:

  • My first boyfriend who told me he loved me on date number three. I was a hostess at a restaurant at the time and after a few months of dating, he came in with a group of friends. When I sat them at a table he said to me, “This isn’t going to work.” I asked where he’d like to sit instead. His reply? “No, you and me. That’s what isn’t gonna work.” Yes, I got dumped in public with a group of his friends watching in the middle of my shift during the dinner rush.
  • A man who thought monogamy was me not finding out about all the other women. Unfortunately, I did. Mostly because I worked with one of them.
  • A man who told me he worked in the Professional Golf industry. Come to find out he worked in the golf section of Dick’s Sporting Goods. (Don’t worry, I told him I worked as a bikini model…A.K.A. I have been to a beach).
  • A man who told me, within minutes of us meeting, that he didn’t know what to call me since he had never known a Meredith before. He decided to call me Mermaid. I kid you not.
  • A gay dentist. There is nothing wrong with being gay and I voted for gay people to be able to marry, but I meant each other, not me.
  • A man who, after nearly a year of dating, could not stay monogamous on a seven-day cruise.
  • The worst kisser in the whole wide world. Really, he was. I felt assaulted and he used my favorite thing—kissing—as his weapon of choice.
  • A man who, when I asked him what his guilty pleasure was, replied: “Married chicks.”

Someday I hope to send you an invitation to my wedding, but until then, I think I deserve a letter of congratulations for not having married any of those guys right there. I may not have met Mr. Right yet, but at least I haven’t married Mr. Wrong.

Most respectfully,

Meredith

Like this story from Meredith? Read more from her at her blog.