6 Things really NOT to tell your blind date

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1)  I can't wait to have kids so we can start a fight club for toddlers. 2) Only order malt liquor at the bar/restaurant and when he/she asks do you want anything else, say "No that's all I drink."

3) Keep mentioning how you email Kristen Johnson to let her know that she's "my life whore".

4) Say "I wish I could devote more time to my clown blog".

5) Never let them know your couldn't do you laundry that week because you couldn't stop watching "Bride Wars" with your roommate.

6) Talk about how close you are to your imaginary brother.